I have never seen my paternal grandparents, never felt how it is to be cared and loved by them. But I’ve been blessed with an angel who never made me feel their absence. She is my maternal grandmother, my Naniji, as I fondly call her.
It was five years since Indian Independence when her marriage was fixed. Still a little girl, just entering teenage and helping her father in his kirana shop after school hours, suddenly found herself locked in the framework of a bahu. Her better half, being seven years elder, still had the revolutionary mindset and was ambitious to expand the family business. The new family was huge with almost all the branches of the tree rooted together. But, her mother had instilled our culture deeply in her which helped her win everyone in the family. Within two to three years she became the most loved member of the family. Years passed by and she was happily living with her family and her eight children. And then I was blessed to be born as her grandchild.
As I grew up, I found all my grandparents in her, so much that I never missed any of my other elders. Ever since my birth, she was always excited to spend more and more time with me, not only because I was her daughter’s son, neither I was her first grandchild, but there was a strong bond of love and affection which brought us closer. As the years went by, her love increased exponentially (though at a much larger rate for my little sister :) ). I was very young to understand the beauty of this relationship then. At that point, I simply enjoyed whatever she did for me.
During my childhood, my family was staying in Nanded but every summer we used to come to Nagpur and I used to get a chance to experience her love and care. I never imagined then, that this could be the beginning of such a wonderful relationship, for at that time, the only thing which struck my mind was that I’m going to Naniji’s place to enjoy, eat and play with my cousins. But then we shifted to Nagpur and Naniji’s place became like my second home. Every now and then, whenever I felt, I would go to her place so that I could enjoy all the “luxuries”. Though staying in the same city, I still spent my entire summer vacation at her place. Slowly, time went by and I started realizing the love and care she bestowed on me. And then things changed so much that she became my primary reason to visit her place; playing, eating, all took a backseat.
Due to old age, she developed diabetes, knee-joint pain and was a heart patient. As a result, she was advised not to climb stairs or do heavy-physical work. But she still used to climb three floors just to visit us. It would take her ten to fifteen minutes to reach the top floor. Climbing one floor at a time, taking rest and again ready to climb another. Climbing all the way up was like conquering a mountain for her. Every time she came, I used to think, “What makes Naniji climb three floors?”, but never realized the amount of joy she got when she met her daughter and her grandchildren. All her energy used to boost up on seeing us. And I used to get my answer!
Ah, the birthdays! There was no chance that she would forget my birthday. My birthday always started with her blessings. She knew that I leave early in the morning for school, so she would get up early morning (as she always did) and wished me all the happiness and success in life. My birthday would just be incomplete without her blessings. Evenings were more fun because I got to eat all my favorite delicacies prepared by her.
It was the day before Diwali and the day started with a little disturbance in my family. I couldn’t withstand the situation and broke into tears. Without talking to anybody, I went to my shop. The whole day I was down and my mind was not in my control. I had almost lost everything in myself. My mother was very upset at my weak behavior and asked Naniji to motivate me and instill faith in me. That day was the biggest day of my life, cause I got to understand the true reason for my existence. Naniji motivated me deep to the core and lifted my spirit. Each and every word she spoke is still engraved on my mind and will remain there forever. I assured her that it will never happen again and I will gather the strength to overcome any situation.
Though studying only till fourth standard, she knew the importance of education. At the crucial stages during my educational life, she stood by me and did whatever she could, to offer me the best possible education available. Be it, my admission to Centre Point School, or IIT-JEE coaching classes or to IIT itself, I could not have been what I am today, if she wasn’t there. She wouldn’t understand the technical aspects of it, except one thing, which is more like a thumb rule for me: If I study well, my life will be beautiful. I remember the day when I got a GATE score and opened up my desire to do post-graduation from an IIT. The score was just not enough to get me into any IIT. As a result, there was a one-sided reaction from almost everyone - NO. and I was flooded with various reasons. Topping the lists were: “GATE score is not enough”, “are you taking a drop”, “you are placed in a company now, are you willing to kick it”, “what will you do if the score is same again”. I was dejected. It was Naniji who came to my rescue. She didn’t know what is post-graduation that too from an IIT, all she cared was that my graduation is over and now its the time for my marriage. But then, my parents and I explained her the importance of getting a degree from an IIT and more importantly, the opportunities available to an IIT student. Without a moment’s hesitation she ordered me to take another shot at GATE and motivated me for a better result next time. I still can’t believe that all this happened just two weeks before she left us. It was only her belief and faith in me, that sailed me into IIT Madras without a re-attempt.
Just as usual, Naniji and I were laughing and joking about my marriage one day, but I never imagined that the very next day, the laughing and joking will vanish forever, that I’ll never see her again, never feel relaxed and safe as I did when she was there. It’s been two years for I haven’t been cared like that, haven’t been loved like that, haven’t been nursed like that. I still look out of my door, waiting for her to visit our house, still look for her support and guidance during my testing times. My birthdays without her are just like the other days, no phone-call, no massive celebrations, just my parents and my sister. I have never visited her place in the last four years for a single time. And now I don’t need to, because she’s there in my heart always. Whenever I’m depressed and lost, I just close my eyes and remember her and then all my worries are gone.
Dear Naniji,
I know you are always there around me to bless and guide me throughout my life. May you find the Eternal Soul and Rest In Peace.
